The Hardest (and Most Important) Skill You’ll Ever Learn - Being Unapologetically You

November 3, 2025

Welcome to another beautiful week. When an idea sparks that I think is worth sharing, it becomes this weekly newsletter. If something hits home, write back. I love conversations. This is Weekly Spark #23.

Let’s talk about something simple to say and brutally hard to live.

Being unapologetically you.

Being unapologetically you isn’t about being loud, defiant, or dismissive. It’s about being honest, especially when it’s uncomfortable.

It’s saying,

“This is what I believe.”

“This is what I need.”

“This is what I care about.”

Without shrinking, sugarcoating, or seeking validation. It’s not the freedom to bulldoze others. It’s the courage to stand firm in your truth even when it costs you approval.

⚙️ Why It’s So Hard

From the moment we’re born, we’re trained to fit in.

We learn to edit ourselves to be accepted, liked, and safe. So when someone says, “Be yourself,” it sounds inspiring until you try it. Because being yourself means losing some people. It means outgrowing certain environments. It means facing the version of you that plays small to please others.

That’s the inner war most people never win.

The truth is, being unapologetically you will cost you something. But not being you will cost you everything.

🧭 The Only Two People You Owe an Explanation To

I have a podcast where we are at episode #45 and the podcast has two scripted questions - 

1. If your 8-year-old self were to come and meet you right now, what kind of conversation would emerge?

2. If your 80-year-old self were to come and give you one piece of advice, what would they say?

There are only two people you are truly answerable to: The 8-year-old you and the 80-year-old you.

The 8-year-old you asks: “Are you still curious? Are you still kind? Are you still playing?”

The 80-year-old you asks: “Did you live in alignment with what mattered? Did you show up as yourself?”

Everyone else? Noise. Make your decisions accordingly.

💬 How I See This Play Out in Coaching

I am running a cohort called ‘Unapologetically You’ where we meet every week and take one step forward towards being unapologetic. It is not an easy journey!

I’ve coached hundreds of leaders, founders, and high performers. Almost every breakthrough starts with a version of this question:

“What would it look like if you stopped apologising for who you are?”

When people answer honestly, magic happens.

• A founder stops mimicking competitors and builds the company they would want to work at.

• A leader starts giving real feedback instead of polite half-truths — and their team blossoms.

• A coachee stops chasing “respectable” goals and starts chasing meaningful ones.

The moment they drop the mask, clarity shows up. The work feels lighter. The impact feels real. That’s what happens when authenticity meets action.

⚒️ How to Build the Muscle

Catch the edit. Notice when you dilute yourself to avoid discomfort. Pause. Say the thing you actually mean.

Ask your 8-year-old self what they’d think. Would they be proud of how you spend your time?

Write a note to your 80-year-old self. What regrets are you trying to avoid? What courage would make you proud?

Find environments where authenticity is rewarded. The wrong room will always make you question your worth. The right one will amplify it.

💬 Final Spark

You can spend your life chasing acceptance, or you can spend it building alignment.

One keeps you liked. The other keeps you alive.

Be unapologetically you. Because the world doesn’t need another imitation. It needs the full, unedited version of you.

With courage and clarity, 

Utkarsh (Coach | Founder, IgnitedNeurons | Builder of Authentic Leaders)